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Sreesanth to train under Nehra and Munaf in bid to make comaback

Tiruvanananathpuram: Ace bowler and Indian Team reject Sreesanth is all set to make a comeback into the Indian side.With his IPL team also being thrown out of next years tournament the jobless bowler it has been learnt is training hard for his big comeback. It has been rather schockingly learnt that Sreesanth plans to achieve this feat by taking tips from and training under none other than two of Indias most famous bowlers Ashish Nehra and Munaf Patel.

We have learnt that the bowling great Sreesanth, who was shockingly dropped from the Indian Team, is all set to make a comeback and is training hard for it under the able coaching of legends Ashish Nehra and Munaf Patel. Sreesanth confirmed the news " Yes it is true. I was unceremoniously dropped from the side even after giving the team everything in me. I had a choice to make. Either try for a comeback or open a Belly Dancing School. Belly Dancing school would have been just stupid so I decided to do what obviously made sense.  I gave performances which are spoken of even today and yet BCCI has decided to drop me from the side. Iam not one to give up and have been training hard for my comeback. I want to make the comeback not for me but for the people of the country and the team who have been deprived of my star presence. For this i have roped in Ashish Nehra and Munaf Patel.", he said while showing us some of his dancing moves to prove that he had chosen the right path.

Ashish Nehra, who has the uncanny ability and talent of finishing the game early (by giving away free runs to the opposition) was all smiles when we contacted him. " Yes the news is true. I will be teaching Sree the importance of line, length and variation while Munaf has been roped in to teach him some fielding." Ironic as it may sound, the news was also confirmed by the dashingly handsome Munaf. "Yes its true. Its a win win situation for all. We teach Sree bowling and fielding and he in-turn teaches us how to dance and get the ladies." he said.

Experts like Akash Chopra do believe that there is logic in what Sree is doing and that he is on the right path. " You see when Gary Kirsten was coach, he did a lot of training with Munaf and turned his fielding upside down. He was electrifying to watch in the field. So Munaf really knows the way Garry taught him and he can use the same techniques on Sree."

Meanwhile, it is being learnt that Sreesanth is talks with Ishant Sharma to help him work on his fitness.

After AIDS and Gayism, Baba Ramdev now claims he can cure Digvijay Singh

New Delhi: In what could become the biggest medical break-thru in medical hisory if succesfull, Baba Ramdev has claimed that he can cure Digvijay Singh.

The saffron wearing, high flying Yogi who made Kapalbhati 'kool 'and made people voluntarily  rub their nails against each other in hope of stopping themselves from aging, has shocked the nation by saying that it was possible to cure Digvijay Singh thru simple yoga. Ramdev Baba, known to bring back Yoga to the next generation, is largely a television and video phenomenon. He fired the imagination of an entire segment of TV watchers, who tuned out of daily soap opera to tune into and do yoga with Baba Ramdev. Now, thousands turn up at his camps to do mass yoga with him. A wiry man with a full flowing black beard, hair parted and tied back, in red robes, the abiding vision of Ramdev is of a man demonstrating very difficult yoga asans. He has a considerable following, most famous of whom is Rakhi Savant who has openly proposed marriage to the Astha Channel owner. People flock to his institutes in Haridwar, near Dehradun in thousands. The private jet flying yogi, who calls on Kapil Sibbal and his likes to welcome him at airports and claims Gayism to be a disease curable thru yoga, and has on earlier occasions said that yoga can also cure AIDS has today claimed to be able to cure what many medical scientists believe to be a complete mystery.

Digvijay Singh has rubbished this news saying no one can cure him. He said " This is all a RSS conspiracy. Ramdev Baba is a fraud and he cant do anything. He said he could cure Gayism but has he been able to? No one has ever  been able to nor will ever be able to cure me. He should go cure Rakhi Savant", he said offering to get checked at AIMS immediately to prove himself correct.

Meanwhile the million dollar yogi turned politician was holding a press conference at his Ashram. "Main yahan logon ko davai se nahi yoga se theek karta hun. Koi bhi beemari utni badi nahi ki yoga se theek na ho paye. Sab apne mastiksh ka khel hai. Yadi roj yoga kiya jaye to koi beemari nahi hogi. Digvijay singh ko poori tarah theek karna main apna kartavya samajhta hun" said the baba making weird heart wrenching noises from his stomach while being upside down showing one of the 'asans' that Diggi will have to do daily to be cured . He hoped that this, his gift to the Indian society, could lead to people forgetting the LokPal bill fiasco and bring the spotlight back on him just before UP elections next year.

Baba also used the opportunity to ridicule and reject the soft porn power yoga lessons being offered by likes of Bipasha Basu and Shilpa Shetty and claimed that those exercise can’t cure anyone,and warned that it could actually lead to homosexuality.

Read more at: http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/who-is-baba-ramdev-109946&cp

Bobby Darling set to be new Bond Girl

Hollywood: In what is considered to be one of the greatest achievement for the Indian Movie Industry ,after much speculation it has been confirmed that Bobby Darling will play the bond girl in the new bond movie due to release next year.

" People in the west have always found Indians to be highly attractive and it was just and appropriate for us to take an Indian actress as the one whom bond romances as the movie is shot in India.Bobby Darling fit the bill perfectly. She was manly strong enough to do all the action sequences and at the same time has the grace and dignity of a total lady. Also with Gays and Lesbians being now socially accepted in society this will give a new dimension to the movie. One that 007 has never experienced before. Bobby Darling in-fact is our USP" said director Sam Mendes.

Bobby Darling originally named Pankaj Sharma, a transsexual, who started as a bar dancer in Mumbai is now a super star and a household name. She is one of the most recognizable of the Gays in India.  Babaa Ramdev, who believes Gayism to be a disease curable thru Yoga, has on a number of occasions offered to help her but Bobby Darling remains adamant that she is a woman. She has appeared in the Hit reality show Big Boss and has acted in more D grade films than anyone else. In-fact her name is listed in the Limka Book of records for maximum no of TV shows and films by a gay actor.

Her selection ahead of size zero actress Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra seems to have shocked everyone. " We had originally given the offer to Aishwarya but she declined because there was nudity involved and we couldn't really trust Poonam Pandey to keep her word. Bobby on the other hand was very comfortable with it and thus we agreed to cast the beauty." said the producers.Bobby Darling will be the first Indian bond girl and will be seen seducing and getting seduced by none other than Daniel Craig in the 007 movie.

Bobby was very happy with the news and said " Finally people have recognized me for who I am. I know i am a beautiful lady and the directors and producers have seen that.I am so happy to represent the country and the minority thru this movie. I always knew i was destined for greatness." When asked about the nude scenes she said " I am very comfortable in my skin. I know im Hot and there is nothing to hide. The audience is going to go wild."

The Gay community has welcomed this development " Ai hai, arre baba, yeh to bahut accha hua na. Ab humari bhi ijjat bhadhegi re. Bobby baby ko bahut accha hua re. Bobby baby k karan humara bhi nam hoga" said a certain KJo Bai while clapping her hands and thumping her chest at periodic intervals. Celina Jaitley who is a well known supporter of gay rites welcomed the move and said " This will show the country in a new light. It will portray a country open to change and change the stigma of close mindedness associated with Indian culture."

Many are not so welcoming of this new development. Many religious groups have called for protest and revolt saying that it is against their cultures.
 
However it is yet to be seen how the sexual scenes that the Bond movies are famous for will be shot. We did not bother asking. Some things are better left unknown.

Inzaman-Ul-Haq roped in as commentator for West Indies tour of India

Mumbai: Former Pakistan cricket captain and spoken english maestro Inzaman-Ul-Haq has been roped in as commentator for the West Indies tour of India.

Also known as Inzy , Inzaman is a former Pakistan international cricketer who was national captain between 2003 and 2007. He is a right-handed batsman who has been regarded as one of the greatest batsmen of his era. He has scored over eight thousand runs in a hundred and twenty tests and over eleven thousand runs in three seventy eight ODIs but is more famous for his speech during prize distributions than his contribution to cricket.

Neo Cricket, the official broadcaster, today confirmed the news " This is great for Indian Television. The Indian tour of West Indies had generated no interest and the England tour of India , well we all know how many people showed up at the stadiums so i dont have to say anything. But with Inzi bhai now coming on board I think there will a lot of excitement to hear the legend speak." was what CEO of Neo Cricket had to say.

Pakistan Cricket Board along with its former and current players have welcomed the initiative. " This great. Inzi go India, this great for cricket in our country. After what Mohammad Asif and Salman Butt and Mohammad Ameer did. They shamed the country but now Inzo go India and bring back some of the pride we lost." said Rameez Raja who refused to believe that there were some gramatical errors in what he had said. Shoib Akhtar, who had earlier accused Sachin of being scared of batting, was his controversial self and said that Inzi was being roped in because Ravi Shastri was scared of commentating. Meanwhile Shahid Afreedi was hoping this was the first step and could lead to IPL opening its doors to Pakistani players."Inshallah Inzi bhai ke jane ke baad aur bhi raste khulenge aur humen IPL men khelna ka bhi mauka diya jayega.  India ke log acche nahi hain but India ka IPL bahut accha hai" he said.

The hefty cricketer was all smiles when we caught up to him in Karachi at his Spoken English Institution and asked him to comment and said " Pehle main Allah ka shukriyada karna chahta hun ki usne mujhe is kabil banaya. and the yes is I will the be going to is India for the commentary of is West Indies tour the of is India." We are unable to quote further (for our own mental safely) but he did say that he was very excited about the fact that he was going to India to commentate and hoped that in this small way he could bring the two nations of India and Pakistan closer together. He also hoped his presence in the commentary box would draw in a lot of TV viewers.

Viewers too are excited about the development " This is awsm. I would watch the India vs Pakistan match only because I knew in the end Inzamam would come and speak a few worlds. Wow im blown away. I will def be watching the West Indies tour" said Akash Parekh of Ahmedabad

Here is the wishing is the great the Pakistani Cricketer the Best is of the Luck!!

After Helen and Kareena Kapoor now Dolly Bindra to do item number in a Don movie

Mumbai: Helen sizzled on screen when she did the item song in the original Don starring actor Amitabh Bachchan, Kareena Kapoor did her justice when she did it in the Don remake starring Shah Ruk Khan, but now if sources are to be believed Dolly Bindra is going to be doing the item song for the sequel Don2 to be released in Christmas this year.

The original Don featured Helen and its remake, very creatively named Don, featured Kareena Kapoor shaking their legs, arms and everything in between to the song Yeh Mera Dil. Now the sequel of the remake, with its very original name Don 2, has none other than versatile actress and super star Dolly Bindra doing the item number. Dolly Bindra, who turned into a house hold name during her stint at Big Boss, is a versatile actress with a flare for fashion. The size 100 (that's right Kareena has one zero Dolly has two) who is a role model to all Punjabi Pehelwans will be seen sizzling the big screen with her raunchy number and seducing none other than actor Shah Ruk Khan in the movie.

Although director Farhan Khan refused to divulge the name of the item song, which he believes will become an instant Hit, he did acknowledge that the reports were correct. " You see no one expects this. Movie making is about pushing the boundaries of possibility, its about showcasing the fantasy." he said when asked to comment. Fantasy or nightmare, the news has definitely shocked  not just audiences but also Bollywood insiders. " This is unexpected. I will have to see this. This is extraordinary. Wonder why i could not think of it. This is pushing beyond the envelop of human imagination" said perfectionist Amir Khan

The news has come as a surprise to many and excitement is at its peak to see Dolly Bindra live up to standards set by Helen and Kareena Kapoor.

Fan, who saw Ra.One thrice and My name is Khan twice, mistakenly wishes KRK on SRKs Bday...

Mumbai: In what has turned out to be a major embarrassment for a Shah Ruk Khan Fan Club the president of the All India SRK Maniacs, a Shah Ruk Khan Fan club based in Mumbai,  has mistakenly wished Bhojpuri Superstar KRK (Kamaal Rashid Khan) on SRKs 46th Birth Day.

 November 2nd is widely considered the birthday of marketing genius and part time actor Shah Ruk Khan who made movies like My Name Is Khan and Ra.One super hits thanks to his marketing strategies. One of the most recognizable faces of the previous generation (he is 46 cmon) Mr Khan has fan clubs in almost each and every city in the world. But today one of the many Fan Clubs based out of Mumbai made a mistake that many consider is unforgivable.

Ankuj Rathor ,a college drop out whose only passion and aim in life is to see SRK movies, mistakenly wished Bhojpuri Super Star KRK Happy Bday instead of SRK. KRK, the multimillionaire businessman and super star actor, it must be remembered had shot to fame with his blockbuster movie Desh Drohi ,which broke all box office records, and his appearance on Big Boss. " I started the day normally, I woke up , had my bath ,wore my favorite KKR jersy which said Khan on the back, Prayed to SRK for SRK, then called PVR to ask if advance booking for Don2 has started and finally got out to go to SRKs house Mannat so that i could stand outside the gate like thousands others and wait for GOD to wave his hand." said the die hard fan who has seen Ra.One a full three times and My Name is Khan twice." I dont know what happened. I was on my way there and as i crossed KRKs shanty in Dharavi and saw him on the roof I suddenly shouted Happy Bday." said Ankuj as he started to cry. "I dont know if SRK or other fans of his can ever forgive me for my mistake. I dont know if i will ever forgive myself." he said.

Meanwhile other members of the fan club, who were already that Mannat waiting for their president to arrive, were shocked to hear the news. " We will have to call for new elections. This is unacceptable. How could he." said an angry Ajay Talpade who was hoping he could win this elections."He has totally spoiled our evening plans where we had decided to watch Paheli, Ashoka, Ra.One and My name is Khan back to back after a special prayer for SRK" he further added.

Meanwhile Shah Ruk Khan was still unaware of the ghastly developments that took place and we decided not to tell him as it might have spoiled his Bday.